Back in 2010, I wrote a post called The Top Ten Commandments of the Capsuleer Parent. It was about survival — squeezing EVE Online into the margins of parenthood. Nighttime ops after bedtime. Changing diapers between gate jumps. Negotiating screen time with your spouse like it was a sov treaty.
That post came from the trenches. I was tired all the time, I was stubborn with my gameplay and blogging, and I was absolutely not giving up my game time.
Fast forward to 2026. The kids are grown. The house is quieter. The evenings are mine again. I should be living the dream, right?
Well. Sort of...
Here's what nobody tells you about coming back to EVE after a long absence: the game kept going without you (of course it did!). And so did you. You're no longer the same player. The game's not the same game — it is in a way, but it's also so different. And that freedom you spent fifteen+ years fantasizing about? It feels different than you thought it would.
So in the spirit of the original, here are the updated Commandments.
Not for the parent surviving the chaos — but for the returning capsuleer looking at his docked ship and wondering where the hell everything went.
