Friday, March 05, 2010

The Top Ten Commandments of the Capsuleer Parent


Every EVE Online player who became a parent during his capusleer career, knows how difficult it can sometimes be to juggle a professional career, a marriage and children, while giving in to the calling of New Eden. But with time, through sheer effort and good planning, it can be done. I know, I've struggled myself to manage to do all of the above, but I'm still here, playing the game, blogging about it and having a great time doing it, despite the occasional trolls!

How do I do it? Well over time I've come up with a few basic rules that seem to work for me. And so I wanted to share them with you, and see what you yourselves can come up with!
  1. Thou shall put real-life first. Always!
  2. Thy children shall always come before the pod
  3. Nighttime shall become my best friend
  4. Thou shall master the art of flying a ship while changing a diaper
  5. A game schedule thou shall agree upon with thy better-half
  6. Thou shall learn the EVE Bushido of the Parent Warrior
  7. EVEMon shall be installed on every PC I can come in contact with
  8. Thou shall know all the ins and outs of of the EVE Skill Planner
  9. ...
  10. ...
I didn't want to finish the list, not because I ran out of steam or ideas, but simply because I want you to add the last two! Come on!

28 comments:

Rettic said...

Thou shalt use contraceptives if thou doesn't wish to live by these commandments.

Bryan Ward said...

Thou shalt buy an iPhone so you can refer to Capsuleer when thou needest.

Thou shalt be prepared to answer really inane questions about what you are doing, over and over again. "Yes, those are Spaceships." "Yes, they are in space." "Yes Daddy wants to kill that one." "No, not really kill him."

KaarBaak said...

Remind of the book I keep threatening to write for my friends: "A Non-Parent's Guide to Parenting." Since I know how much better to raise his kids than he does. LOL

Mithrandir Stormcrow said...

9. Thou shalt teach your offspring in the ways of EVE, so that when they grow up they will not fear the Pew Pew

10. Remember the Family time and keep it Holy

PsycheDiver said...

Thou shalt treat the Alliance Tournament as a major sporting event.

Pillage said...

Thou shall LOG immediately to the call of spider! or bug so as to vanquish it with extreme prejudice!

Mike Azariah said...

If losing a ship to wife aggo, thou shalt keep thy fool mouth shut about it.

Thou shall not smack talk over vent if kids are in house, they hear such even when 5 rooms away and fast asleep.

Jonathan said...

Thou shalt fit a cloak on thy vessel so thou shalt be properly prepared in the Land of Null Sec. If Thou do not do this thy pod will be plagued with the wrath of 'bottle time!', 'Daddy I cut my knee!!!' and spillages of a Great Host of sticky drinks.

Thou hath been warned.

C.

Meatay said...

If you teach the kiddies the ways of smack talk they can handle all your vent convos for you.

Jaggins said...

Thou shalt always rate Wife aggro above Sleeper aggro!

Trent said...

Thou shalt accept that EVE has no pause button, but that autpilot is an acceptable substitute.

Latro said...

Nap time = game time....mostly

Baby monitor shall be set to higher volume than vent.

Mod to above comment - wife aggro trumps all other aggro.

Vieve said...

Thou shalt lift weights so that thee can be capable of balancing a Child of Mythical Size on thine shoulders and head whilst pew-pewing.

Rhys said...

The beginning is a very delicate time, one which will not be repeated.

Casiella said...

Learn the Holy Way of Passive Income and keep it, erm... holy.

Arrhidaeus said...

Haha, love the post. My suggestions:

Thou shalt appease thy wife in compensation for a late night fleet op.

Thou shalt not judge thy fleet member who currently cannot speak over vent due to company/death stares from the wife.

Thou shalt not raise children for the sake of having mission running slaves.

evetimecode said...

1. A computer in the kitchen is a GOOD idea.
2. 27 jumps is plenty of time to prepare pb&j sandwiches for "Mom, I'm hungry!" later in the day.

Mandrill said...

Thou shalt NOT give your teenaged son access to your account so he can 'try it out'. His is the path of the trial and ever shall be.

Cerfari said...

10. Thou shalt train your offspring to love and serve in New Eden.

We Fly Spitfires said...

I'm not a parent (yet) and I already find it hard to balance real life with blogging. I just don't have enough time to game and blog and do everything else!

I'm secretly hoping that I win the lottery before I have kids and thus can have more free time :P

Cartoon Boy said...

Thou shalt fit a cloak so that, at a moments notice, one can prepare cups o' tea n' toast n' rubbeth feets to compensate for expected absences from spouse and offspring.

Trust me, this works a treat. Though it's at odds to my EvE persona.

"Coming dearest..."

*cloak active*

EVE SOB said...

Thou shalt bring thine wife into the flock of Pew Pew and raise thine chidren to fear mining lazers.

Thou cannot run from wife agro. Embrace thine fate and logofski.

Cheers

EVE SOB

EVE SOB said...

p.s. My 6yo is a future pirate. He is disgusted in me flying around highsec not shooting people. Demanding that I set my drones onto any hauler we see.

Kids are bloody awesome!

Cheers

EVE SOB

CrazyKinux said...

Wow! We've got some great comments and commandments in there! So funny to read! Thanks guys!

Oh and @EVE SOB - You should send your 6yr old fly under Spectre's wing for a few missions! :p

EVE SOB said...

LOL @CK!We have enough challenges with this child with out such corruption ;)

Eelis Kiy said...

Thou shalt not hate thyn husband for leaving thou to join an alliance and thereafter making iskies gallore in belts and complexes in 0.0 whilst thou is living in the isk sink that is faction war... -.-

Lee said...

Thou shalt give thy husband kudos, in that whilst he is a poor man as you know him, he is a tycoon in New Eden.

CrazyKinux said...

Good one Lee! Hey look, I'm a Tycoon! :p